Monday, 6 June 2016

Uncertain

as much as I wanna stay positive and move on.. I think its ok for human beings to be down and rant about life abit.. WE ARE NOT MACHINES.. WE HAVE FUCKING FEELINGS..

What's my life now ? Unemployed.. I hate to just waste time and not do anything. I'm job hunting, read a book, hit the gym and what not.. But I need to work.. I'm ready for a job.. But nothing seams to be going my way now..

Trying to go to Singapore.. isn't working out as much as I hoped it would be.. the quota is high.. Trying to get into Macau too.. Same thing.. Quota is high and what not..

As much as I don't wanna work here.. I'm not gonna force myself to work in Sg or Macau..Because honestly.. It just felt like its not my calling yet maybe ? I don't know..

I do get depressed about not being able to get a job.. I think only my Mom realized about it cause she knew I was a little emo and all, running low on cash.. She borrowed me money and said that she'll support me till I get a job and found what I wanna do.. I was in public and I literally wanna just breakdown and cry..

Cause honestly... Without my Mom I don't know how on earth I'm gonna do everything.. All she does is listen... She knew I'm gay and all.. I also know that this is going to be hard for her...

but deep down.. not being able to get a job is really really depressing.. Everyone have been asking me why I have not gotten a job yet... and my grandma told me that I shouldn't have went for my long 1 and a half month travel... (WHICH I WILL NEVER EVER REGRET)

it just kills me a little bit each time I got an email saying that I'm not offered the job or found someone better.. Then I'll be thinking if I'm not good enough...

This coming weekend, I'll be going for SIA walk in interview at kl.. I really really really want this job.. I love hospitality industry, and I love to travel.. Its the perfect job for me besides hotel.. Everyone have been telling me that I should go for a cabin crew life which I have rarely considered cause I wonder if I'm up to the standard ? I really don't know.. If I got kicked out.. I really don't know how I would feel about everything.. cause this is the job I'll die for..

plus I got a hair cut and snipped by pony tail off that I've grown since oct last year... So yea.. My konon cabin crew, presentable smart looking hair..


I miss the days when I'm travelling with my backpack buddies I met along the way.. Wake up every morning, have breakfast, drink beer. Then decide what to do for the day.. Relax, chill and laugh and have alot of fun.. I felt more alive when I'm travelling than being back here.. at least for the time being.. I'm so lost now 

wish everything will work out 

xoxo
Justin Lim aka Kiddystick

6 comments:

  1. Hey, My advise to you is never give up. I was in your shoes once. Never force yourself to want a job cause you will eventually put too much hope in it and when you don't get it, it just tears you apart. Remember good things are yet to come. I wish I had an opening available for you to join my team. Cheers Mate!

    And good luck yea on your SIA interview.
    Another suggestion why not go for Emirates too?
    We shall meet up for yumcha soon!

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    1. I'm going back to kl soon. Let me know if you're hitting the gym

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  2. being jobless is like losing your self-direction in life. It's like that de la. once you got the job .. you will have the ohmm to work. Moreover hospitality industry quite competitive. I had one client working in Oriental Mandarin hotel as junior chef. Stressful and shit. Maybe you can try going for an interview in cafe and see. I've been to an interview for a new fine-dining bistro in bangsar few weeks back . it's called BOTANICA & CO.. it's just opened this earlier of this month. you could give it a try at there.

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    1. Thanks hun. I'll see how it goes..

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  3. No worries,life is like a wheel,the time when you will get your job will come eventually.if cabin crew is the job you'll die for go for the interview then,i know you can make it:D

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    1. thanks hun. I don't wanna get my hopes up high, just in case I don't get it I won't be all devastated. I do wish I get it cause its what I wanted

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