High Hopes

This whole week have been a roller coaster ride.. I woke up way too early on a Saturday Morning, but then I realized I have an interview to prepare.. I climbed out of bed, checked on my phone.. Released a big sigh in the air... Because I don't know how is the day going to go.. Will it be just another disappointing like the others interview I've been.. Or its going to be another waste of time..

I got out of bed and undressed myself, went to the balcony in all nude assuming no one is up at such time.. feeling comfortable in my own skin, with a little tummy that don't really bother me a lot. Showered, did my hair, put on my contact lenses and finally look somewhat decent. I took my file with the application form and waited at the car for my friend..

She came in a black dress and said "how do I look ?"... "great!" I said.. Her jumping around in excitement in her red Ferragamo shoes. We got into the car and got to the venue.. We lined up, got our forms ready for registration.. Everyone was in it for the kill.. Girls in kebayas. Boys in nicely pressed shirt, tie, and their nicely comb back hair, which made me looked into the mirror if I did a good job on my own hair...

The wait was long.. Who wouldn't kill for this job ? You get to fly, get paid, its a dream job for a lot of people. It was one of my dream job too. But I'm trying not to get my hopes up high, because I don't know if I'm cabin crew material. If I'm good enough for it... To be one of those good looking ones, walking down the planes in their suitcase behind the pilots.. I just don't wanna get my hopes up high.

My friends told me that I will get it and I have the look for it.. FINE, I'm not all that ugly. I'm presentable looking.. BUT I just don't wanna get my hopes up high. My friend and I got our numbers, and went for the first round. I made it and she didn't, which I really can't comprehend why. Her english is obviously way way way better than mine, and I think she spoke better than I did. "Good luck Justin !" she said, and gave me a hug. I felt bad for her.. The wait was tiring later on..

I got my height measured.. and the wait continues.. Met a couple friends in the waiting hall, that we all end up in the same debate group. "GREAT ! NOW WE HAVE TO KILL EACH OTHER ?!" said Nikita. Out of 6, only 3 of us made the cut, I was one of them. I was glad to make it.. I never thought I'll be able to make it this far.. Management round was next...

"why do you want to be a cabin crew?" he asked.. I answered a few questions of theirs.. I went out and waited for my answer.. A lady came to me,
"Justin ?"
"Yes..."
"congrats, you and Nikita are successful."

Me and Nikita hugged each other and have the biggest smile on our face. Because I made it ! FINALLY I GOT SOMETHING I ALWAYS WANTED ! I was never this happy.. We followed the lady for skin check which I doubt I have any issues. I don't have tattoos or anything. I only have a piercing which is not visible. I got my weight weighed, skin checked, and did a walk..

The lady in charged for skin check looked at me and said "Justin.. you're bmi is over by 3kg.. is it possible for you to cut it down?.. we will keep you in view. Just come back during our next interview to prove that you lost 3kg and we can proceed to medical check"...

I smiled... I said "alright, thanks".. Suddenly I feel really fat.. Only if I was skinnier by 3kg.. Only if I can just shove a knife in my belly and shave off the 3kg that I thought its not all that bad and I'm actually comfortable in my own body. Apparently not.. I've never felt so bad about my own body.

Went out and saw Nikita and the other girl that made it.. They are in the uniform, and they look REALLY GOOD. I hugged them told them my situation and they couldn't believe what just happened.. We added each other on social media and I bid goodbye. Because I just want to get out of there.

Got out of the building.. with a malboro in my hand, took a big puff and hope it would take it off my mind... There I was.. by the busy road, smoking on my cigarette, and stare at all the busy people getting into cabs and wonder what's next for me.

XOXO
kiddystick