Kiddystick in in SINGAPOREEE

yup ! I'm in Singapore right now ! After being in Malaysia for like... 23 years... I need to change my environment a bit. To leave my family is a little hard for me. But I know I need to do this, I just can't stay in Malaysia any longer. The place is killing me slowly.. Plus the industry I work in pays like shit there... It'll take forever for me to pay back my student loan.. 

Its really exciting to be here.. ALL THE MEN....  Its just so organized here, the train, the escalator is so fast.. I just hope I can control my urges to... you know... *cough cough* they are quite irresistible.. 

I'm gonna work in chinatown in a restaurant.. Hopefully everything is ok. Its a great restaurant and its somewhere I would love to work in. Just hope everything will work out. 

I miss my friends and my family alot.. and my fuckbuddies...

xoxo

kiddystick

My first time........at Burger Lab

Yup... I've never been to burger lab.. I don't understand the hype about it at first... A lot of things nowadays are just the hipster hype.. So I don't usually care about all these trending things on social media.. So my friends knew that I'm leaving for Singapore soon, and also some other friends that are leaving for NZ for working travel, UK for studies, and the US for studies.. We decided to meet up !

So they decided to go to Burger Lab. Finally I get to try the very highly recommended places for burgers. I have high expectation for Burger Lab. The queue was crazy btw.. Usually long queue = good food. 

I ordered THE ULTRAMAN ! Fried Chicken with salted egg sauce... LET ME TELL YOU... THAT BURGER.. WAS THE BEST BURGER I HAD... IN MY LIFE.. 

I'M NOT EVEN KIDDING.. Salted egg are amazing by itself.. BUT BUT BUT... WITH FRIED CHICKEN IN A BURGER... SHUT UP.. AND TAKE MY MONEY... 

I was never happier... I had my first bite.. my eyes closed and I'm like "MmmmmmMmmmmm"... If I have a reaction like this when I eat... its beyond heavenly.. I did not take pictures of the burger cause I was too hungry and don't bother to take one.. BUT DAMN, its a fucking good burger. 

The staff are amazing too, so friendly. I can still remember the taste of burger in my mouth now... gawd... so hungry.. only if they're a big fast food chain restaurant that do delivery.. I will call them now.. 

If anyone want me to ask him to be his bf.. Just bring me a ultraman.. I can clean your house for a ultraman.. I can do anything for your for the ultraman..



also snipped my hair really short.. never a fan of short hair cause I have a huge huge forehead.. but screw it. I'm gonna rock it.
 might not be able to update my blog often so follow me on ig @justinlim_21 

xoxo

kiddystick is hungrry as fuck

Moving to SINGAPURA

yup... KIDDYSTICK is moving to Singapore.. I've been applying jobs for the past 1.5 months and trying to get a job anywhere but Malaysia. Malaysia is great.. but not for my industry.. Me being a 23 years old kid, I just wanna be anywhere far away. Anywhere actually.. I don't mind moving to anywhere to be honest.. Japan, Korea, Bangkok. I want to change my environment, to have a new culture to adapt to..

But the whole employment thingy isn't going as smooth as I thought.. No one will employ a fresh grad aboard.. I sent so much application to Macau and didn't get back from them.. Which is a little sad cause if I'm there I can visit Taiwan and China for vacation or something..

TO TRAVEL IS MY UTMOST PRIORITY !

But this company from SG that I'll be working in, I have the trust in them. IDK why, but my instinct tells me that its my calling. So I'm going with it and they have been really helpful and sincere.

I'm excited to move to Singapore actually. I'm not a person who likes to be at home much. I rather be anywhere than home.. I guess I'm just gonna be another Malaysian that works in Singapore I guess ?

Moving to SG is also like a new chapter in my life. I'm so so so done with KL.. I need a change.. Maybe start fresh.. and focus on what I want in life... I'll be in SG for the next 2-3 years minimum.. So.. I wanna
1) Work my ass off in the restaurant industry. Learn a lot, get promoted, and be knowledgeable about everything.. BECAUSE KNOWLEDGE IS POWER.. cheehh quoting from Me before You haha.
2) Pay off my student loan.. it'll take forever for me to pay back if I work in KL.
3) Save up for my future travels. Gonna do working travel in Australia when I'm 27.. so I have 3-4 years to save up. And I'll be traveling for a good 6 months after Australia.. so.. I'm looking at 15 months worth of travel money.
4) HIT THE GYM ! I googled the nearest gym in SG near my place.. lol... I wanna gain size, and achieve my fitness goal.
5) Enjoy my own company, and stop falling into dicksands.. sg men are tempting.. i'm not gonna lie..

so yea... I have to settle everything off in before I head down.. fingers crossed

xoxo
kiddystick

The roller coaster kept going

So.. On Monday My Grandma from my Mom's side passed away.. She wasn't in the best condition recently, but not that bad till it would happen all of a sudden. Mom told me after she showered on a Monday evening. She's leaving at night to Penang later on, which I eventually told her that I wanna go back with her.

I just wanna be with her. My Mom just came back from Penang visiting her and she passed the day after.. I felt really bad because we all wanna be around when important events like these happen. Had a long talk with Mom in the bus, I can't help to feel like a kid around her.. Maybe because I'm just manja that way.. Told her that I got a job offer in Singapore.. and we talked about other stuff. I just wanna keep her accompanied.

The news spreads fast, and I have a pretty big family on my Mom's side.. Everyone came back and there was so many cousins, we sat on the ground instead of the mat. It was a hokkien funeral, and its usually quite elaborate and ALOT ALOT ALOT OF things need to be done.. Still trying to figure out the tradition and what it all meant..

My Grandma always makes sure we had city food when me and my brothers visits Penang. City food like nuggets, and fried food, cause kampung food doesn't appeal to us when we're young.. We used to live in a double story wooden house with a huge ass backyard, with a huge tree with a swing, we have turtles, chickens and tons of vegetable growing. I spent most of the time in the backyard when I was a kid.. I even climbed into the pond where they kept the turtles... I had a pretty awesome childhood..

I do miss her.. I just came back from penang and I always bid goodbye before I leave the house.. and shes no longer around.. But I;m glad shes with grandpa now, buried together side by side.. I'm sure grandpa miss her loads.

your grandson miss you loads too
xoxo
kiddystick

High Hopes

This whole week have been a roller coaster ride.. I woke up way too early on a Saturday Morning, but then I realized I have an interview to prepare.. I climbed out of bed, checked on my phone.. Released a big sigh in the air... Because I don't know how is the day going to go.. Will it be just another disappointing like the others interview I've been.. Or its going to be another waste of time..

I got out of bed and undressed myself, went to the balcony in all nude assuming no one is up at such time.. feeling comfortable in my own skin, with a little tummy that don't really bother me a lot. Showered, did my hair, put on my contact lenses and finally look somewhat decent. I took my file with the application form and waited at the car for my friend..

She came in a black dress and said "how do I look ?"... "great!" I said.. Her jumping around in excitement in her red Ferragamo shoes. We got into the car and got to the venue.. We lined up, got our forms ready for registration.. Everyone was in it for the kill.. Girls in kebayas. Boys in nicely pressed shirt, tie, and their nicely comb back hair, which made me looked into the mirror if I did a good job on my own hair...

The wait was long.. Who wouldn't kill for this job ? You get to fly, get paid, its a dream job for a lot of people. It was one of my dream job too. But I'm trying not to get my hopes up high, because I don't know if I'm cabin crew material. If I'm good enough for it... To be one of those good looking ones, walking down the planes in their suitcase behind the pilots.. I just don't wanna get my hopes up high.

My friends told me that I will get it and I have the look for it.. FINE, I'm not all that ugly. I'm presentable looking.. BUT I just don't wanna get my hopes up high. My friend and I got our numbers, and went for the first round. I made it and she didn't, which I really can't comprehend why. Her english is obviously way way way better than mine, and I think she spoke better than I did. "Good luck Justin !" she said, and gave me a hug. I felt bad for her.. The wait was tiring later on..

I got my height measured.. and the wait continues.. Met a couple friends in the waiting hall, that we all end up in the same debate group. "GREAT ! NOW WE HAVE TO KILL EACH OTHER ?!" said Nikita. Out of 6, only 3 of us made the cut, I was one of them. I was glad to make it.. I never thought I'll be able to make it this far.. Management round was next...

"why do you want to be a cabin crew?" he asked.. I answered a few questions of theirs.. I went out and waited for my answer.. A lady came to me,
"Justin ?"
"Yes..."
"congrats, you and Nikita are successful."

Me and Nikita hugged each other and have the biggest smile on our face. Because I made it ! FINALLY I GOT SOMETHING I ALWAYS WANTED ! I was never this happy.. We followed the lady for skin check which I doubt I have any issues. I don't have tattoos or anything. I only have a piercing which is not visible. I got my weight weighed, skin checked, and did a walk..

The lady in charged for skin check looked at me and said "Justin.. you're bmi is over by 3kg.. is it possible for you to cut it down?.. we will keep you in view. Just come back during our next interview to prove that you lost 3kg and we can proceed to medical check"...

I smiled... I said "alright, thanks".. Suddenly I feel really fat.. Only if I was skinnier by 3kg.. Only if I can just shove a knife in my belly and shave off the 3kg that I thought its not all that bad and I'm actually comfortable in my own body. Apparently not.. I've never felt so bad about my own body.

Went out and saw Nikita and the other girl that made it.. They are in the uniform, and they look REALLY GOOD. I hugged them told them my situation and they couldn't believe what just happened.. We added each other on social media and I bid goodbye. Because I just want to get out of there.

Got out of the building.. with a malboro in my hand, took a big puff and hope it would take it off my mind... There I was.. by the busy road, smoking on my cigarette, and stare at all the busy people getting into cabs and wonder what's next for me.

XOXO
kiddystick

Uncertain

as much as I wanna stay positive and move on.. I think its ok for human beings to be down and rant about life abit.. WE ARE NOT MACHINES.. WE HAVE FUCKING FEELINGS..

What's my life now ? Unemployed.. I hate to just waste time and not do anything. I'm job hunting, read a book, hit the gym and what not.. But I need to work.. I'm ready for a job.. But nothing seams to be going my way now..

Trying to go to Singapore.. isn't working out as much as I hoped it would be.. the quota is high.. Trying to get into Macau too.. Same thing.. Quota is high and what not..

As much as I don't wanna work here.. I'm not gonna force myself to work in Sg or Macau..Because honestly.. It just felt like its not my calling yet maybe ? I don't know..

I do get depressed about not being able to get a job.. I think only my Mom realized about it cause she knew I was a little emo and all, running low on cash.. She borrowed me money and said that she'll support me till I get a job and found what I wanna do.. I was in public and I literally wanna just breakdown and cry..

Cause honestly... Without my Mom I don't know how on earth I'm gonna do everything.. All she does is listen... She knew I'm gay and all.. I also know that this is going to be hard for her...

but deep down.. not being able to get a job is really really depressing.. Everyone have been asking me why I have not gotten a job yet... and my grandma told me that I shouldn't have went for my long 1 and a half month travel... (WHICH I WILL NEVER EVER REGRET)

it just kills me a little bit each time I got an email saying that I'm not offered the job or found someone better.. Then I'll be thinking if I'm not good enough...

This coming weekend, I'll be going for SIA walk in interview at kl.. I really really really want this job.. I love hospitality industry, and I love to travel.. Its the perfect job for me besides hotel.. Everyone have been telling me that I should go for a cabin crew life which I have rarely considered cause I wonder if I'm up to the standard ? I really don't know.. If I got kicked out.. I really don't know how I would feel about everything.. cause this is the job I'll die for..

plus I got a hair cut and snipped by pony tail off that I've grown since oct last year... So yea.. My konon cabin crew, presentable smart looking hair..

I miss the days when I'm travelling with my backpack buddies I met along the way.. Wake up every morning, have breakfast, drink beer. Then decide what to do for the day.. Relax, chill and laugh and have alot of fun.. I felt more alive when I'm travelling than being back here.. at least for the time being.. I'm so lost now 

wish everything will work out 

xoxo

Justin Lim aka Kiddystick

How to be a Heart breaker

I shouldn't be listening to Marina and the Diamonds.. I'm already really messed up as a person... Its even gonna be even more messed up...

SO... yesterday night, my friends asked me to go to this party someone is throwing. THE RED PARTY. There is also a dress code for obvious reasons.. Red for the ladies and men in tuxs. So yay... Get to play dress up abit. Comb back my hair and sweat so much in my formals... I feel like a sweating pig after a marathon... its alot of work to make myself look good..

To make sure at least I'm presentable enough to approach or be approached or maybe break a few hearts... JUST SAYING...I went there to support my girls. I can't recognize them in drag.. LIKE FULL ON DRAG MAKEUP, DRESS, HEELS AND WIG. I can never look at them the same way again.. cause they're so so so pretty...

You know how in this gay circle.. everyone isn't very serious... kissing is like shaking hands.. shaking hands is merely just a friendly gesture of saying hi... I guess I was just going with the flow and not be serious about stuff.. so kissing and everything is fine ?

I'm trying to ditch some guys when things are getting awkward cause I don't like attachment.. especially from a awkward start... But there is this cute cute cute guy.. He caught my attention when he's dancing in mesh see through singlet.. I can't deny I have a thing for bad boys... (I'm so getting myself in trouble...)

I wasn't hoping much that I'll be able to talk to him, cause I'm bad at approaching. I was just sitting there and he passed by and looked at me, and said "cute.." and touch me on my cheeks. Me being shy just smile and didn't do much.. Throughout the night.. We did exchange glance and we get close. He sat on my lap.. I sat on his. Cuddled...

I spend the night there too.. (I know what yall are thinking.. but no..) We cuddled and kissed... ALOT.. hes a good kisser too. The romantic kisser type... Kay... I think high chances hes gonna break my heart instead of me breaking his...

xoxo
kiddystick